There are so many of the neatest gadgets that I’ve bought with the thought that it would be so fucking handy in the near future. But when I get them home, it is always a problem to figure out where to put all the shit until it’s needed. I don’t want to admit how many times I have come into a need for that gadget and then I can’t remember where I put it and I can’t find it to do the task. Lately, while I’m walking down the aisles of the stores that I shop at, I have been finding myself asking myself “where would you put it?” this really is becoming a problem with so much stuff brought into the household. In my asking myself this question has been a great way to keep me from buying numerous items that I can certainly live without.
I almost never use pencils. In fact I hardly use pens any more, either. I type all the words that I need to write. But today I needed a pencil and the only three pencils I could find in the house were all with broken points. So I needed a pencil sharpener. That is one of those little gadgets I’m talking about that I can’t remember where the fuck I put it and now I can’t fucking find it. A good thing I remembered the eye liner pencil sharpener that I keep in my make-up bag, which get little or no use these days, so that worked out well enough in the end.
My manager took us all out for our “holiday lunch” today, which is usually held at Olive Garden, but this year she mixed it up a bit and took us to a completely different place that has a large menu and specializes in seafood! I love seafood so this was a great choice as far as I’m concerned. No fucking way can you please 14 people, some people were pissed off and showed their ass through out the entire time, but I certainly was pleasantly surprised and pleased as punch.
The menu was a series of combinations of chicken and shrimp, shrimp and steak, or steak and chicken. So I knew right off that I didn’t want chicken, so that left steak and shrimp. I was all set to order that, when I noticed two lines down, they offered steak and Jumbo shrimp. Now, I love the play on words when you are talking about shrimp, which in itself means small. Then you add a qualifier in front of it, like big or jumbo and you have a sort of paradox.
Well, I ordered the jumbo shrimp and someone else at the table ordered the regular shrimp. I can tell you, it was a HUGE difference. The jumbo shrimp were so damned big that I could not get the whole thing in my mouth for one bite. It was definitely worth it, and I can advise anyone that if you truly like shrimp, go for the jumbo!
Most days when I leave the house I head south and get onto the interstate as fucking quick as possible. The interstate is most definitely the fastest way to get around town, unless it is smack in the middle of rush hour or if there is a wreck or some other shit going on that involves emergency vehicles. On the way to the interstate I pass three gas stations and usually their price per gallon is reasonable, compared to other gas stations around town. But I always check and if gas is cheaper at the Stewart’s Ferry exit, I’ll head north from the house and get my ass and my gas at Thornton’s.
This morning I knew that Thornton’s was 12 cents a gallon cheaper than everyone else, so I headed north and drove through the neighborhood. I was shocked to see that two blocks away from my house there had been a string of vandalism attacks last night. Someone had driven through the neighborhood shooting orange paint balls at all the fucking cars parked along the street. I have to assume this was done by some dumb ass teenagers with no parental supervision and nothing better to do than drive around shooting at cars with a paintball gun. I guess we should be glad that they were not real bullets shot from a real gun. If that every happened we would have to take up arms and fight back against the little bastards coming into our neighborhood. And believe me most of my neighbors are armed and have no problem using what they have if and when the need arises.
Sometimes you have a brand new computer user and you want to help them but it gets really fucking frustrating if you can’t be there in person and see what the fuck they are doing wrong. It is even more frustrating when you tell them step by step how to do something, and you’ve done the same shit yourself a thousand times, but they are doing something wrong. How do you know what step they are missing or doing wrong?
I’ve spent hours on the telephone with my cousin Sue out in Kansas. She lives way out on a farm and never really cared about the internet until she caught her husband fooling around and kicked his fat ass to the curb. Now she wants to get online and meet people and stay in touch with family and friends. So I’ve been trying to help her learn her way around the new computer and the internet.
This is not as easy as it sounds and I’ve started looking into getting a proxy software program so I can find out exactly what the hell she is doing on her computer. With the right remote access software I think it will be a lot easier to troubleshoot and fix the problems on her computer, five states away from me. Proxy software would let my computer access and even control her computer using the internet. I really want her to embrace the computer and if we can minimize the problems and frustrations she will be more likely to use it and learn new things.
There was a big deal at the pet store about a new line of dog toys and dog clothing by some celebrities. Like I really give a shit that some old rock and roll geezer has “designed” clothes for my dog?
But the sale paper that hit my driveway said they have expanded their dog toy section and have lots of new toys. Since I love buying new toys for my dog, off I went to the pet store.
Yes they have added half an aisle of dog toys. But I didn’t see hardly anything new and they were all way too expensive. I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in paying more than ten dollars for a dog ball or a chew toy. That is just crazy. The toys are just cheap plastic, most of them come from China where they are trying to kill off all our pets with poisoned dog jerky treats. If they have poisoned the dog jerky, who is to say the fuckers are trying to kill them with poisonous dog toys, too?
So I couldn’t find a single toys under five bucks that my dog would play with for more than 10 minutes. He is brutally tough on toys – he goes on a big mission to kill the squeaker in the toys and then when he has ripped out the squeaker he is not interested in it anymore. That usually takes about 10 minutes, so spending more than five bucks on something that doesn’t last longer than that is ridiculous.
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